Asocial Press   Jan 21, 2007

China last week successfully used a missile to destroy an orbiting satellite, U.S. government officials told AP on Thursday.
The test could undermine relations with the West and pose a threat to satellites important to the U.S. military.
In a bold move, the Whitehouse has declared outer space to be the 53rd U.S. state.

In an article by Tyme magazine, Bush was asked "Why 53?".
President Bush replied: "That's in addition to Alaska and Iraq".

Asocial Press   Jan 21, 2007

Hillary Clinton launched her bid to return to the White House, promising voters: "I'm in to win".
Her husband, ex-president Bill Clinton, was overheard to say: "I'm in two".

In a bid to recoup losses incurred by the box office disaster: "Gore takes the Whitehouse",
Hollywood producers have already begun advertising their latest film: Whitehouse Blues.

Asocial Press   Jan 30, 2007

Iran's President Ahmadinejad, speaking at the "World Without Zionism" conference, noted that he had recently completed a course in Geography.
To his surprise, he found that Iran was almost completely surrounded by countries with Nuclear weapons.

When asked about his goals vis-a-vis nuclear weapons, Ahmadinejad replied:
"When we take Iraq and complete our own nuclear program, the map will be quite red."
Laughing, he added: "Isn't that the colour of American Republicans?"