I'm their executor. What should I ask?

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I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by kombat »

My parents have recently updated their will, and have informed me that they're naming me as executor. I'm the oldest of three. I'm 38, I have a younger brother who is 35, and a sister who is 25.

I'm going home to visit them next week, and have asked if we could sit down and go over the will so that their wishes are clear to me. Beyond making sure I understand the language in the document, are there any important questions I should be asking them at this meeting, in order to make sure I can smoothly execute their wishes when the time comes?
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Bylo Selhi »

This isn't an executor issue but it's related and it's just as important. Have your parents also entered into powers of attorney for property and personal care to deal with incapacity during their lifetimes?
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by kcowan »

I think you need to understand what your parents want, What the heirs want is not material.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by BRIAN5000 »

kcowan wrote:I think you need to understand what your parents want, What the heirs want is not material.
Well let’s say the parents would like to keep all siblings on good terms after they die. (if possible) That would be their wish but two sons want the lakefront cabin but it's left to only one and the other thought it he was more deserving. Without considering want the heirs want would cause a problem. You can say to bad so sad but there may be some conflicting goals which either the parents or siblings haven't thought about or know. Have you told you siblings you've been appointed? What was their reaction, if they had a choice is there anything they would like to know, do? For example parents may like cremation and ash's spread one or more siblings might like a more permanent place to visit.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Insomniac »

First, read what the duties of an executor are so you understand what your responsibilities are. You should be able to find articles on the 'net for this in your province.

As a start, I would ask:
Where is the original copy of the will kept?
What to do with remains: bury or cremate?
If bury, do they have a plot or will they be buying one?
If cremate, what do they want done with the ashes?
If wanted, will they be prepaying for a funeral?
Do they want obits published?
Do they have a safety deposit box and where is it?
Who do they have their bank and brokerage accounts with?

Just some stuff off the top of my head.

Also, ask them about the points Bylo brought up.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by MALDI_ToF »

Perhaps a list of subscriptions (online and offline). You will want to have those cancelled and not renewed.
List of credit cards and the like and other debts. Those need to be settled and closed.
Computer account passwords or e-mail passwords if some of their information is on their computer.
A list of insurance policies. Life insurance policies to be claimed, other policies to be cancelled.
Contact info of friends and family to notify and invite to the funeral. (or is there someone they don't want at the funeral??!)

Will your parent's pay you to be executor? They don't have to, but it is not unreasonable. From what I have read it seems a fair bit of work to do.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by ghariton »

Here's a useful webpage on your role if the estate is in Ontario. (In Ontario, executors are now called estate trustees.) There are a lot of law firms offering advice to estate trustees, presumably hoping to be retained by the estate.

As to what you should do now, in preparation, I would offer the following advice:

(1) Make sure the will is as clear and unambiguous as possible. Ambiguity in the will is the cause of most of the trouble one sees.

(2) Discuss provisions with your parents so that you understand their wishes, over and above what appears in writing in the will.

(3) If this is not against your parents' wishes, communicate with the other principal heirs, so as to cut down on surprises.

(4) If the will is complicated, consider identifying now a lawyer to help you then.

(5) Consider various estate planning possibilities, including the use of trusts, tax reduction, etc.

(6) As mentioned above, ensure that the proper powers of attorney are in place for the period before death. (Powers of attorney expire at death).

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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by twa2w »

In addition to what people have said above,

- if there is anything unclear in the wills, or might be contentious, have your parents write a letter to attach to the wills to clarify their intent or give reasons for their decision. You can then share this if needed after your parents are gone.
- then if your parents have a lot of personal momentos/antiques etc that the siblings may fight over, ask them to prepare a list of these sorts of things and who they would like to see get them - note this is for personal items only. i.e grampas fishing basket goes to Grandchild Bob because he enjoyed fishing with Grampa, Grammas jewelry goes to Susy etc. These are often the things siblings fight over.
Again they do not have to share this with you first. Note this is not legally binding and if the items are missing at death, there is no obligation. When I did will planning we often asked lawyers to include a clause that said essentially" If I should leave a memorandum attached to my will regarding the disposition of my personal assets, I wish my executor to honour it"

-And as mentioned above, request they prepare a list of assets, where they bank, have insurance, any contracts etc. Again tell them to put with the wills and that they do not have to share with you first.

And of course find out where they keep the wills and the name of the lawyer who drafted them.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Jo Anne »

twa2w wrote:-And as mentioned above, request they prepare a list of assets, where they bank, have insurance, any contracts etc. Again tell them to put with the wills and that they do not have to share with you first.
In addition to the above, make sure you know where all of the paperwork is kept. You'll probably need to look through a lot of it.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by blonde »

A lot of good pointers in the above posts.

ASK Process-Questions to get the scope of the parents system and clarity for understanding. Assumptions are a NO-NO. Make the strange look familiar. Then, and only then will you know what specific questions to ask. IOW...Study the System.

DO NOT TELL what the parents should or should not do.

Role/responsibility for POA and E-POA should not be ignored.

IMO. Duties of executor are worth 5% of total assets.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by kombat »

Wow, great info guys, thanks for all the input. I've made notes of all your suggestions and will be discussing this with them next week.

Mom also mentioned that yes, they have indeed additionally done the paperwork for Power of Attorney, so it sounds like they've got their bases covered.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by OhGreatGuru »

Ask where all the financial papers/records/tax returns, etc. are kept, as you will have to access them when the times comes.

Encourage them to make an Estate File that lists all their bank accounts; pensions; investment accounts; insurance policies; other assets; credit card numbers; personal data such as SIN; location of documents such as birth/death certificates. And either give you a copy or tell you how to find it.

PS: you don't need to know their net worth unless they volunteer it. But you need the account numbers/addresses for everything.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Bylo Selhi »

OhGreatGuru wrote:And either give you a copy or tell you how to find it.
That stuff changes regularly, especially online account numbers and passwords. A printed list is soon out of date. It's much better that they give you a location where the latest info is kept. Even if a person tries to keep such a list up-to-date there's still a good chance it won't be. So even better still is potential access to your computer in the form of power up, Windows login and password manager master password (if applicable.) If they're reluctant to do that tell them it's no different than leaving keys to the filing cabinet where such paper data is kept. Then the executor has a fighting chance to find the other stuff via bookmarks, passwords and such.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by AltaRed »

Bylo Selhi wrote:
OhGreatGuru wrote:And either give you a copy or tell you how to find it.
That stuff changes regularly, especially online account numbers and passwords. A printed list is soon out of date.
I have a hanging folder in the file cabinet called ESTATE. In it is a printed copy of a document I keep updated with all the relevant info OGG refers to above, or where else to find in the same filing cabinet. I send an updated copy to my executors as well. That folder also contains a copy of my Will and Enduring POA, and in the case of BC, a copy of my Representation Agreement and Advance Directive. My executors know where to find that folder. They do not have any passwords for my online accounts nor the boot up password to the PC....but in the case of the latter, they should....and a key to the house as well.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by brucecohen »

I prepared a step-by-step guide for my executor(s) that's kept up to date on computer and periodically printed and put into a binder. Here is the table of contents. I went through guides from several financial institutions and law firms. Though none was complete, RBC's was pretty good. You can download it here. When the time comes for me to act as an executor I will buy a copy of this book which is widely used by professionals.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Bylo Selhi »

AltaRed wrote:That folder also contains a copy of my Will and Enduring POA, and in the case of BC, a copy of my Representation Agreement and Advance Directive. My executors know where to find that folder.
With respect to the Advance Directive (aka PoA for Personal Care) consider the situation if you get taken to hospital by ambulance and the doctors there need to know your wishes re stuff like DNR. Perhaps a card in your wallet and a note on the fridge door that indicates tells emergency workers how to find that sort of info? (My mom had a copy of the PoA in an envelope labelled prominently stuck to the fridge door in case EMTs came to take her to hospital.)
They do not have any passwords for my online accounts nor the boot up password to the PC....but in the case of the latter, they should....and a key to the house as well.
To be clear I wasn't suggesting anyone give online account passwords to anyone else (apart from spouse.) That's imprudent and violates the terms under which the bank would indemnify you in the event of online fraud. Rather I'm suggesting that you indicate where that info could be found in case of death. Technically the executor should get the banks to issue them a separate access, however in my experience that can take a while.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Jaunty »

I think I'm a little OT, but it does relate to executors. I am doing my annual update of the information file I keep for each of my wife and our executor (if we die together). When I die, my wife will have lots of access to money because of joint accounts and her own investments (also joint but with her named first). I have never considered how the executor would pay for things (heating, hydro, probate etc.) until last night. What provisions have others made? All I can think of is a small joint account with the executor or cash in our safety deposit box.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by brucecohen »

Jaunty wrote:I have never considered how the executor would pay for things (heating, hydro, probate etc.) until last night. What provisions have others made? All I can think of is a small joint account with the executor or cash in our safety deposit box.
While the bank will freeze the account(s) it will let the executor draw money to pay necessary expenses like utility bills, home insurance, repairs etc. Also, when I compiled my executor's guide I found that ING did not require probate if the client held less than $30,000. That's a voluntary banking industry standard that was agreed upon years ago by then-independent trust companies and I don't know if it's embraced by all banks and by ING's new owner.

Note: an executor is required to keep a record of all spending on behalf of the estate. So, if there's no working capital available at all, he/she can use his/her own money as required and take reimbursement once the deceased's accounts are released. When I compiled my executor's guide, a bank officer told me that an estate account can't be opened until probate is obtained. To bridge the time between death and that, she said many executors open a new cheque account in their own name. This allows them to segregate spending and makes recordkeeping easier.

BTW when compiling my executor's guide, I was surprised to learn that when my wife or I die the bank will automatically reduce the limit on our joint home equity LoC to $20,000. The surviving spouse will then have to apply for an increase based on his/her own income.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Insomniac »

brucecohen wrote:When I compiled my executor's guide, a bank officer told me that an estate account can't be opened until probate is obtained.
I am currently working as an executor. At the credit union, all that they need to open an estate account is to see the original copy of the will (or certified true copy). Probate can take many weeks, and as you said things have to be taken care of in the meantime.

I have been paying bills out of my own chequing account so there is no rush to open the estate account. I will reimburse myself later. However, there are cheques arriving that are made out to "Estate of ..." that need to be deposited.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by twa2w »

Some banks will open an estate account before probate but they usually will limit it to deposit of items payable to the "estate of". Once probate is obtained the executor will have full access. This protects the bank in case there is a legal issue or a second will found and the 'executor' is not really the true executor.
Bruce is right that banks will pay utility bills for the house, funeral expenses etc from the deceased persons account if there is money. They may or may not pay car loans and credit cards. Banks do have the right of offset to pay any bank debts that may be owing, before paying other bills.

Most of the banks use the 30K rule and with some it is 50K. They may go higher if it is a simple estate (mostly cash and GICs) and the will is recent and no likelihood of a dispute but this is a decision made higher up. The executor will have to sign a

Some of the banks have centralized their estate departments so all handling of the estate other than the initial contact will be handled by that department via letter and phone calls. Also as an executor, expect a sales pitch for their agent for executor program. If the executor is to busy, not knowledgeable etc, the bank (or related trustco) will act as their agent for some or all of the executors duties - for a fee of course. Small estates don't bother applying :(
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Jaunty »

Thanks for the thoughts. When I was my dad's executor I just paid things myself and recouped it later. However, our executor if we both die at or about the same time is one of the "kids". Her money is much tighter than mine was and if she could pay for things (I'm guessing a pretty big if), it would sure make life tight for her and her family. Perhaps I should explore a small bank account, under $ 30,000, at a local credit union.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by kumquat »

I had the dubious pleasure of acting as executor for my mother, my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. It's not something you want to do, but it isn't that hard. However, you must be assertive withe the banks, creditors or whomever you have to deal with.

My thoughts are:

1) Power of Attorney.
It's generally worthless. My mother went from living in her own home to palliative care in 3 days. While she was in care I took the POA document (which her high priced lawyer told her gave me the authority to sell her assets and give them away to anyone on the street) to her bank and told them I wanted to use her funds to pay her bills (phone, power, etc). The teller balked, we called a 'manager, he balked, then an acquaintance who had a low-level job at the bank wondered by. She assured the manager I was who I said I was and this let me pay her bills with her funds.

2) Probate

When my mother died, I talked to her lawyer (a good friend of my dad's, dad died about 25 years before mom.) I asked him about costs of handling the estate. He kept pointing to the Law Society's schedule which was a sliding scale on estate value. I suggested that x% of the estate was a bit excessive since the bulk of the estate was farm land with a named beneficiary, but I would like him to help me with certain aspects of the estate (like writing the petition for probate).
He refused. So, I did all the work, including asking the lawyer for an affidavit of execution. In essence a statement that he had witnessed the signing of the will. The b@stard charged me $25 +GST for it. Anyway, happened to have a friend who was a judge on the court that substituted for a Surrogate Court. He proofread my Petition for Probate. It wouldn't have been that hard without my friend's help. He recommended changing one class of possible dependent from plural to singular.

When my Father-in-law died, I was Co-executor with my brother-in-law. I told him about my experiences with my mother. We selected a lawyer who was willing to work by the hour. There was a bit of a screw-up and between said lawyer and my BIL, someone lost the executed will, who, I don't know. Anyway said lawyer got us through probate with a copy. We, the executors did our duty and distributed most stuff. We, of course, held back a bit for tax stuff, to pay the lawyer etc, While trying to get every bill paid, I asked said lawyer for a bill many times. His Secretary/wife/paralegal/whatever always said it would be in the mail soon. Soon it became clear to me. He wasn't about to send a bill where he may have screwed up. He died shortly thereafter which solved one problem.

When my brother-in-law died I was a co-executor with his accountant. My co-executor wasn't sure why he was named. I suggested it was because he understood money and I was named because I understood costs. Well, with a working CA as a co-executor, I couldn't really insist that we do it all. Met with the lawyer who wrote the will. I suggested that I was appointed executor to keep costs down. Lawyer started by referring to rate schedule. I suggested hourly. Eventually lawyer agreed to a flat fee about 1/3 of the rate schedule.

What I would ask of my "testators"
1) Make sure you will is specific about the big$ stuff.
2) Please do something about the small $ stuff. I.E. if your kids are going to fight about grannies 7$ engagement ring, deal with it. If not, instruct your executors to sell such items to the highest bidder.
3) Tell us what assets you have and where they are. Four years after BIL died we found out he owned a few K$ in a publicly traded company. Took only a few hours to deal with, but we thought we had been done for years.
4) If your will is "lopsided", leave a letter to our heirs explaining why you wrote it the way you did.

I'm sure I'll come up with more, but this is it for now. Good luck to all of you
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by brucecohen »

kumquat wrote: 2) Please do something about the small $ stuff. I.E. if your kids are going to fight about grannies 7$ engagement ring, deal with it. If not, instruct your executors to sell such items to the highest bidder.
That's a great idea. My will calls for the executor to toss a coin. An auction with sealed written bids seems more civil and fair unless there's a huge wealth gap among the heirs.
4) If your will is "lopsided", leave a letter to our heirs explaining why you wrote it the way you did.
The letter is good and I've insisted on that for two of the wills for which I'll be executor -- their only child was left out. But I'd also do a video since that's now so easy with digital cameras and smart phones. ISTM that a letter plus video would be so hard to challenge that the disgruntled heir wouldn't bother.
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by Peculiar_Investor »

brucecohen wrote:I prepared a step-by-step guide for my executor(s) that's kept up to date on computer and periodically printed and put into a binder. Here is the table of contents. I went through guides from several financial institutions and law firms. Though none was complete, RBC's was pretty good. You can download it here. When the time comes for me to act as an executor I will buy a copy of this book which is widely used by professionals.
Bruce, I was updating the Estate planning wiki article with information from this post. I was going to include this book as an External link, however the website indicates the book has been discontinued. Unfortunately your link only shows a WebID and not the title. What was the title and do you happen to know if it is available from any other sources?
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Re: I'm their executor. What should I ask?

Post by tedster »

Ensure that the will has at least one "back-up" executor. This is needed in case you fall ill or pre-decease your parents before they have time to appoint another. I do not think it is important for the executor to know the contents of the will, however, it is vital that he/she have a clear understanding of the parents' wishes. In my case I have covered this in a Memorandum to my executor. I see no reason to not charge a fee and expenses in executing the will. I did when my mother died. I also think that unless your parents wish it you should not tell your siblings that you are the executor. You never know, they may appoint another one after you.

Keep a record of all costs and decisions. CRA and the heirs (and non-heirs) may need to be convinced. :(

Money is a real character revealer.

As an aside, apart from knowing where the documents are to be found, and who drew them up (for a copy) instructions on passwords, and which of their internet contacts who need to be notified is a good idea. A friend of mine in Japan recently died earlier than expected. His daughter sent me an email of notification.
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